My Birthday Prayer

I am happy with my life. It’s a beautiful life. But I want more with what I am. And my forever prayer, especially today, remains:

O little St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own – speak a word for me to our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were – to that Queen of heaven “who smiled on you at the dawn of life.” Beg her as the Queen of the heart of Jesus to obtain for me by her powerful intercession, (the grace*) I yearn for so ardently at this moment, and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life. Defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity.

Amen.

*I may give glory to Jesus by example and not only in words. Take away my quick temper and help me love everyone for what they are and not what I want them to be.

Dear Reader, I seek your prayers and blessings today. Please do remember me in your prayer time. Thank you so much in advance.

Here’s a beautiful poem by St.Therese which beautifully expresses my aspirations:

 Oh! how I love Thee, Jesus! my soul aspires to Thee –
And yet for one day only my simple prayer I pray!
Come reign within my heart, smile
tenderly on me,

 Today, dear Lord, today.

But if I dare take thought of what the morrow brings –
That fills my fickle heart with dreary, dull dismay;
I crave, indeed, my God, trials and sufferings,

But only for today!

O sweetest Star of heaven!
O Virgin, spotless, blest,
Shining with Jesus’ light, guiding to Him my way!
O Mother! ‘neath thy veil let my tired spirit rest,

For this brief passing day!

Soon shall I fly afar among the holy choirs,
Then shall be mine the joy that never knows decay;
And then my lips shall sing, to heaven’s angelic lyres,

The eternal, glad today!

-Saint Therese of Lisieux
June 1894

Response to Unfulfilled

My first tryst with poetry invited quite some responses from my friends. One response in particular was very interesting…. and unexpected.

I wish to quote it here not just for its morale boosting value for me, but because I felt that there was a message for those others who are in my place as well – struggling, longing, wanting, hoping:

As poetry goes it is beautiful.

I like the dark intensity of the sadness

as a person who knows the poet..a little bit…mereko to bahut gussa aata hai…

uff..my mind is filled with so many things to tell you…just to make you see YOU from someone else’ eyes…just to tell you to be able to understand that..life is not about being the attachment to one person and tying your life, your happiness, your destiny and your yearning to him ..in such a fashion that your life seems destinyless, and mindless….aisa nahi hai

look at it from my eyes na…

you are a person..who has the balls to be able to look life in the face and say..screw you..i can live…i can be all i have to be..and i don’t need anyone to be there

you have had so many problems when you were growing up..right? from what little i hear from you…you had to face so many troubles..you did well..you studied..you got yourself into a position that you are today..where lesser people would have finished their existence and given up..you started..and then you took off…and you are where you are..i don’t think i could do half of what you have achieved.

then you did a mistake..theek hai..ho jati hai..you trusted and loved a person who was not worthy of you..you still persevered..when everyone told you to give up…you showed tremendous courage to go through what you have gone.

you have your son…you have raised him up to be a beautiful human being..he will be a perfect man…and all that is because of you..

so all this sadness because of the apparent lack of purpose and direction..bah i say..absolute bah…

aap meri nazar se dekho kabhi kabhi..you will see what i see….a stunning person with a spine made of steel…and she looks hot too (dekho flirt karna to mera farz hai )

so my dear anne…while i appreciate and enjoy the poem for its literary value…as far as it goes beyond that…i wish you to not believe yourself so much and fall into this depressing spiral…

you know you speak as if married couples have some magical life that you have somehow missed …sab ke yahan same hai boss..each one of us has a huge cross to bear..and sabke yahan chal rahi hai zindagi, … khatti hai, ..thodi faltu hai..and kabhi thodi si sweet hai..but sweet moments are rare..ok? and i say this with 25 years of married and more that 7 years of unmarried experience

so chin up my dear..don’t read your poem too much…

The poem i dabbled was my state of mind for that day. Such days happen and will surely recur in the future. I know. You know. But, hey, like my friend said – dont read your poem too much – I try not to wallow in such state for too long.

Yes, we all are entitled to some self-pity. But too much of anything is destructive. Life has a lot of compartments. If one falls off, trudge up and salvage the rest of the train back on its track and speed on into the future.

Look at yourself from an outsider’s view and maybe, just maybe, you will see that you are not so worthless after all. That maybe your life does count to something. And maybe it will confirm your belief that God does not make junk.

Unfulfilled

A yearning to belong

Unfulfilled destinies

Unrequited desires

A mindless life lived

Quivering in the shadows

Of the unknown

Longing, wanting, spent

Until death stretches its arms

Envelopes in its darkness

The remnants of a ravaged life.

 

 

 

CW3BEFRPMSBP

Worth a Risk?

Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Here’s a poem I had read once a very long time ago. I don’t know why I remembered it today. So I searched it over the internet. Reproduced below:

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken,
Becasue the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

So this weekend, take that leap –

Risk admitting your love for/to someone

Risk writing that blog/post you haven’t for the fear of being ridiculed

Risk calling that friend/family you have been cut off from because of some misunderstanding

Risk trying that something you are afraid of failing at

Risk accepting Christ in your life

…..you just might find that it wasn’t so risky after all!

Have a lovely weekend.

It is well with my soul

I felt that someone here needed the following assurance today, just as I needed it too. So this is for you:

 

When peace like a river,

attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot,

Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul!