Honour Killing, Not So Honourable!

Honour Killing

                                                                                                            honourkilling.in

Mallika* fell head over heels for Ranjit*. Fresh out of college, with good prospects and dreams for their future, both were ecstatic to have found one another.

However, their joy was short-lived. They received stiff opposition from their families because they both belonged to different communities.

But Mallika’s younger sister, Roma*, supported her, to the extent of going against the family and helping her sister to elope with her boyfriend, get secretly married and settle in a different city.

Once the family realised that Mallika is missing, they questioned Roma about Mallika’s whereabouts. She is even beaten for not being forthcoming with the information. But Roma does not betray her sister.

However, the entire community is outraged at this marriage. And Mallika’s uncle and brothers decide to track her down and ‘take care’ of the matter. Eventually, they find Mallika and Ranjit. And mercilessly kill both at a point-blank range. Roma meets the same fate.

(*names changed)

Brothers killing their sisters, fathers beheading their daughters,  the wider community murdering its youth for marrying a partner of choice who does not belong to the same caste or creed!!!!!!!! Violence in the name of ‘honour’ has been spreading at an alarming rate.

Recently, there has been a spate of honour killings in the country. Statistics reveal that over 1,000 young people are killed every year owing to honour killings which are mostly directed against women and girls. However, as seen in the above case, the son-in-law was also murdered, which is now becoming a trend.

Although honour killing is said to be a global phenomenon, it is observed that the perpetrators are largely of an Asian or Middle Eastern origin. Such killings are widespread in Pakistan, Afghanistan, India and other countries with socially backward and poor rural areas and do not seem to be a frequent occurrence in the West.

Such crimes are committed for a wide range of “offences” — marrying outside the community, marital infidelity, pre-marital sex, flirting, or even failing to dress modestly can be perceived as impugning the family honour.

A June 2008 report by Turkey’s Human Rights Directorate says that in Istanbul alone, there is one honour killing every week and over 1,000 were killed during the last five years. A young woman’s throat was slit in the town square because a love ballad had been dedicated to her over the radio.

In India, honour killing is most prevalent in states such as Punjab, Haryana, western areas of Uttar Pradesh and in some parts of Bihar. In many instances, khap panchayats or caste councils order the killings for marrying against their wishes.

But the back-to-back cases in the national capital and elsewhere in the country in the past few months have shaken the conscience of modern India.

According to a new analysis by NGO Shakti Vahini, such sordid incidents have been reported from all over the country and in 90 per cent of the cases, the perpetrators of the crime were from the girl’s family.

Lack of strict laws and regressive mindset with regard to caste system still pervading the country are the biggest reasons for these cold-blooded murders in the name of saving family pride.

Even as the government is contemplating bringing in a new law to deal with the spurt in honour killings, the fact remains that young women, and sometimes men, are not safe from such bloody reprisals for defying the strict family code.

To quote Elif Shafak, the author of the book – Honour – the truth is there is no happiness without freedom and there is no “honour” in murder.

Waqt ka matlab hai ‘Ab’…

waqt ka matlab hai ab
…. maafi us har din ke liye jab maine apne sapnon ko apne rishton se jyada ahmiyat di,
us har ghadi ke liye jab maine uska dil dukhaya aur use manane ki koshish bhi nahi ki,
lekin sabse jyada maafi un angeenat lamhon ke liye jab main use kehna bhool gaya ke main usse kitna pyaar karta hoon
 
ye sochkar, ki kehne ke liye mujhe bahot waqt milega..
per mai galat tha…… uske jaane ke baad, waqt chala gaya ..
 
isliye, WAQT ka matlab hota hai AB
 
Pyaar karna hai toh ab
Maafi mangna hai toh ab
Haath pakadna hai toh ab…

 

For the non-Hindi speaking, here’s a rough translation:

 

…forgiveness for each day when i gave priority to my ambitions over my relationships

for every moment when i hurt her and did not even try to make up

but above all else, i ask forgiveness for all those thousands of times when i did not tell her that i loved her…

…thinking, that there will be a lot of time to do that…

But i was wrong, with her death, that time was gone.

That is why, Time means ‘now’…

To love is NOW

To say sorry is NOW

To hold her hand is NOW…

Disclaimer: Sometimes the beauty and depth of words is lost when translating from one language to the other.

I have learnt that…

…notwithstanding gender equality and related issues, it’s important to have an emotionally balanced, consistent and compassionate man as the head of the family to keep you and your family firmly and safely rooted in harmony and joy.

I was not as lucky but my observation comes from families around me where the husband is calm and collected, takes initiatives and responsibility, and provides stability and emotional refueling to the family.

a good husband

They say a woman keeps the family together, but the man keeps it grounded.

He’s been faithful…

i will not leave you or forsake you

In My Moments Of Fear
Through Every Pain Every Tear
There’s A God Who’s Been Faithful To Me

When My Strength Was All Gone
When My Heart Had No Song
Still In Love He’s Proved Faithful To Me

Every Word He’s Promised Is True
What I Thought Was Impossible
I’ve Seen My God Do

He’s Been Faithful, Faithful To Me
Looking Back, His Love And Mercy I See
Though In My Heart I Have Questioned
Even Failed To Believe
Yet He’s Been Faithful, Faithful To Me

When My Heart Looked Away
The Many Times I Could Not Pray
Still My God, He Was Faithful To Me

The Days I Spent So Selfishly
Reaching Out For What Pleased Me
Even Then God Was Faithful To Me

Every Time I Come Back To Him
He Is Waiting With Open Arms
And I See Once Again

He’s Been Faithful, Oh So Faithful To Me