My first tryst with poetry invited quite some responses from my friends. One response in particular was very interesting…. and unexpected.
I wish to quote it here not just for its morale boosting value for me, but because I felt that there was a message for those others who are in my place as well – struggling, longing, wanting, hoping:
As poetry goes it is beautiful.
I like the dark intensity of the sadness
as a person who knows the poet..a little bit…mereko to bahut gussa aata hai…
uff..my mind is filled with so many things to tell you…just to make you see YOU from someone else’ eyes…just to tell you to be able to understand that..life is not about being the attachment to one person and tying your life, your happiness, your destiny and your yearning to him ..in such a fashion that your life seems destinyless, and mindless….aisa nahi hai
look at it from my eyes na…
you are a person..who has the balls to be able to look life in the face and say..screw you..i can live…i can be all i have to be..and i don’t need anyone to be there
you have had so many problems when you were growing up..right? from what little i hear from you…you had to face so many troubles..you did well..you studied..you got yourself into a position that you are today..where lesser people would have finished their existence and given up..you started..and then you took off…and you are where you are..i don’t think i could do half of what you have achieved.
then you did a mistake..theek hai..ho jati hai..you trusted and loved a person who was not worthy of you..you still persevered..when everyone told you to give up…you showed tremendous courage to go through what you have gone.
you have your son…you have raised him up to be a beautiful human being..he will be a perfect man…and all that is because of you..
so all this sadness because of the apparent lack of purpose and direction..bah i say..absolute bah…
aap meri nazar se dekho kabhi kabhi..you will see what i see….a stunning person with a spine made of steel…and she looks hot too (dekho flirt karna to mera farz hai )
so my dear anne…while i appreciate and enjoy the poem for its literary value…as far as it goes beyond that…i wish you to not believe yourself so much and fall into this depressing spiral…
you know you speak as if married couples have some magical life that you have somehow missed …sab ke yahan same hai boss..each one of us has a huge cross to bear..and sabke yahan chal rahi hai zindagi, … khatti hai, ..thodi faltu hai..and kabhi thodi si sweet hai..but sweet moments are rare..ok? and i say this with 25 years of married and more that 7 years of unmarried experience
so chin up my dear..don’t read your poem too much…
The poem i dabbled was my state of mind for that day. Such days happen and will surely recur in the future. I know. You know. But, hey, like my friend said – dont read your poem too much – I try not to wallow in such state for too long.
Yes, we all are entitled to some self-pity. But too much of anything is destructive. Life has a lot of compartments. If one falls off, trudge up and salvage the rest of the train back on its track and speed on into the future.
Look at yourself from an outsider’s view and maybe, just maybe, you will see that you are not so worthless after all. That maybe your life does count to something. And maybe it will confirm your belief that God does not make junk.