Straight from the Horse’s Mouth

 

Some guy has really done his homework and has come up with this…..

“We’ve always heard that women have a lengthy list of rules for men to follow.  But introducing here is a list of rules us men or, as you ladies would say “the neanderthals” of CavemanCircus.com have come up with”, he says.

“These are our rules! Please note – These are all numbered “1” ON PURPOSE!  

 1. Men are NOT mind readers. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports or news, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. “Yes” and “No” are full sentences and perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.  Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done.
NOT both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… REALLY.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as- Football or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
P.S.:  Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that?  It’s like camping.

Well, I am not sure how many guys would agree with this and how many women will laugh at this… But this guy seemed to mean business… 🙂

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5 responses

  1. I thought this was funny (particularly the toilet seat item), but I’d just like to put out there for the record that my husband loves shopping way more than I do. And he is decidedly NOT a “girly man.”

  2. aha what a funny post! I got a good laugh, just remembered this sentence from Carnal Knowledge, that looks like a valid answer for any of a girl’s complaint “Bullshit Artist”

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