Mind your own business…

…but people don’t. They want to know all that is going on in your life.

And it’s not even out of concern for you. Just idle gossip. Something to spice up their days. I guess bad-mouthing someone somehow makes you feel good about your own bad self…hmm.

Mind your own business, Idle talk, gossip

I get asked by curious gossip-mongers:

  • Why don’t you have any photos with your husband in it?
  • Where is your husband and how come you never talk about him?
  • Why do you keep a cross on your desk? (I am a Hindu by birth)
  • So your husband lives in another city, eh? Do you visit him? How often? Or does he come down?
  • Oh you stay with your mother? Why?
  • Why are you fasting on a wednesday? (Indian fasting days are usually tuesdays and thursdays)

Generally, I just try and jump off the topic onto another and lose their trail of enquiry. But some insistent souls would not have that. They persist. Until they get a reply of some kind.

I rarely get curious about other people’s affairs unless it’s a friend in distress. I have so much of my own to keep me busy that I don’t have the energy, inclination or interest to gossip. And more often than not, what you are is what you project others to be.

So it irks me to find that people are not always what you expect them to be. Especially those that are nice to you on your face. I am constantly confronted with situation where people who have been very nice to me are found slandering me the moment I turn my back to them.

I am appalled and annoyed by such double standards.

People won’t keep to their own business and then they won’t let you live in peace.

If only people could be genuine, life would be easy.

The Bible exhorts in 1 Thes 4:11

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you

 And yet, why do people make it their business to find the skeletons in other people’s closets, to ruin their peace of mind, to make their already difficult life more difficult? I wonder if it happens to them too? If it does, I wonder how they feel? Does it not then make them realise that their prying in other’s life hurts.

Persons who have nothing to do of their own, commonly find employment by interesting themselves in the affairs of their neighbors. No one likes to be wholly idle, and if anyone is not found doing what he ought to do, he will commonly be found engaged in doing what he ought not.

Speaking things which they ought not – Revealing the concerns of their neighbors; disclosing secrets; magnifying trifles, so as to exalt themselves into importance, as if they were entrusted with the secrets of others; inventing stories and tales of gossip, that they may magnify and maintain their own consequence in the community. No persons are commonly more dangerous to the peace of a neighborhood than those who have nothing to do.

I was asked one such question today by an ‘idler’ and that’s what propelled this post. All I have to say is:

Mind your business, Gossip, Pry, Invade Privacy 

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5 responses

  1. i have a neighborhood friend who just cut off another neighborhood friend of ours because of this same thing and when she was liberating herself of the burden this caused her by speaking to me of it, she said the exact same thing you did. this friend who she cut off has no life, no job, no ambition, no will and no drive. she is, in short, a loser with no life YET she feels the need to inquire about other people’s lives in order to have something to talk about. when my friend was expressing this to me, she did so prompted by inquiries made about herself by people to whom she had no ties or connections. she wondered, “where’d they get their information from?” and realized it could only come from one place, the loser friend. then she remembered the old adage, “if your friend talks bad about their friends to you, they’ll talk bad about you to their friends.” so snip snip, and there ended that friendship. sometimes it is best to not have many friends, this is something i learned after having many “friends” either stab me in the back or just break my heart with their actions. today i keep very few friends. in fact, i can count all my real friends on one hand with a couple fingers to spare. you do good by changing the subject and keeping people at arms length. the world is full of dangerous people, disguised as friends, family, co-workers, neighbors. unfortunately, we don’t recognize them as such until after they’ve done something that removes their mask. soooooooooooo, with that said, THREE CHEERS for people doing stupid shit that reveals who they really are. if they didn’t do this, we would not be able to find out what true dirtbags they really are!

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